The Banter Thread

[Anonymous]

Man up Jassy mun,
I do 12 hour shifts everyday, then come home and shear 4 million sheep, then cut the lawn. paint the house, clean the windows, wash the car, wash sons car, wash works car, cook breakfast, cook lunch, cook dinner, cook super, wash the clothes, iron the clothes, hoover carpets, go shopping, cut the hedges, fit new kitchen, get my nails done, then I have to please Mrs H in the bedroom, ( hardest job of them all) :crazy:

A man gotta do what a man gotta do . :lol:

Ya Smooth Barsteward ye god i wish i were like you :lol: I am a lodger remember so I dont have RIGHTS i can get chucked oot the hoose in less than a new york minute:lol: I know sitting in the house and on this forum doesnt do me no favours a bit unfit :helpme: but just in again from a job of my own and picked 4 house extensions to wire for myself and not for someone else :thumbdown: maybe i will get the sun tan back looking awfull white these days :lol:

Man I need to get a life :lol:

GOIN up the to my den soon to watch Terminator Salvation in glorious HD 1080p/DOLBY DIGITAL ON CHAN4 HD on my carbon fibre trimmed 55" £3000 tv :lol: and listen to it on my £4000 av setup SHOULD STOP THIS NUMBER DROPING :lol: what a movie soundtrack this has would blow up any subwoofer most peeps interests are sports and fitbaw or music my hobby has always been movies especially sci-fi and dolby/dts sound tracks.this movie has a demo soundtrack thats show any crap system but excels on a good amp/speaker system my god i am beginning to sound like ronaldo analiser :lol: but anyhow chaps jactac MY GOOSE/ron MY VIPER/ rizz MY HERO :lol: / hope ALL you bawbags are all havin a good weekend :thumbup:

 

[Anonymous]

looking awfull white these days :lol:

Man I need to get a life :lol:

Could be worse m8, you could be looking Pearl White. :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

looking awfull white these days :lol:

Man I need to get a life :lol:

Could be worse m8, you could be looking Pearl White. :lol:

FOOK ME WHAT YOU DOIN ON HERE TWICE IN A WEEKEND :lol: AND DONT START THE PEARL CRAP AGAIN OR I WILL GET BANNED :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Jassy that sounds phenomenal!! Perhaps you could start renting out your man cave to similarly minded men seeking an escape from their ball and chains? Reckon that's a profitable business idea!! :thumbup:

I've always wanted a man cave but sadly I'm told that will be the nursery...this news may result in a lockdown of my gentleman parts!! I overhead the missus responding to my mate's partner's question, "so...when are you guys going to start a family then?" at a party last weekend. Jen's response was, "I have a plan about that". The response was unexpected and, I must confess, was pretty terrifying...hence the lockdown. Jassy, if this is successful perhaps you can come up here to wire up the man cave? Obviously I'll require a red phone that flashes curiously hidden beneath a bell jar yet is labelled. I may also require a swivelling bookcase and a room that looks like a government strategic command post. I know you'll be more than able to wire that bad boy up.

Jactac - I cannot tell you how much I chuckled about your posts about the missus and her duties. :lol: bought mine a gift today...it was a domestic appliance (see pic) that is particularly good for windows and showers...also incidentally for Leaving streakless windows on RCZs...who would have known... :lol: Perhaps mrs jactac could use one. I wrapped it up and everything but was ready with flowers to soften the blow that, despite being very much a shoebox shaped parcel, it couldn't have been much farther than a pair of shoes. Boom...my work here is done!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. The sun is finally out in Aiberdeen, my grille is finally fitted and I am about to sit down to fish and chips. I actually love life...

 

[Anonymous]

School Teacher More of a nutter than Jactac i think :lol: 2 years ago i had a good job that lasted 4 months at a grand a week in my hand so i spoiled myself rizz recouping what i lost in my previous relationship mate but that system cost £20,000 as for sprogs dont leave too late as you are just a pup 20 years younger than me so its a good time to plan god i am sounding like wuman :lol:

YOUR WIFES A BABE wolf :eusa-whistle: JUST LIKE MY AVRIL TALL :thumbup: AS for jactac kenobi he is minted and into the bargain HEN PECKED :lol: or should i say SHEEP PECKED anyway my banter is crap tonight and on that note I BID YOU big guns rizz AD JURE

 

[Anonymous]

Hey Rizzie,
You're a man from my own heart, thats a great gift for any woman, your other half must be chuffed to bits. :dance:

I remember when I bought my missus a bit of kit to unblock our drains, she was actually crying with delight .
Here she is with her "prezzie" on her way down, you can tell she's so so happy with it .

 

[Anonymous]

YOUR WIFES A BABE wolf :eusa-whistle: JUST LIKE MY AVRIL TALL :thumbup: AS for jactac kenobi he is minted and into the bargain HEN PECKED :lol: or should i say SHEEP PECKED anyway my banter is crap tonight and on that note I BID YOU big guns rizz AD JURE

Ok ok, just in case you two thought you were the only ones that can pull a cracker in here, I thought it was time that I showed you my lovely Mrs H. :thumbup:
Now who's Top Gun eh !!!
Thats it fellas sit back and weep, cos she's a stunner and I'm a lucky sod eh !. We should all get together and take the partners out, Mrs H dont get out much, but she loves to skip around in the fresh air, you can tell by her glowing complexion that she's one fit bird. :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Anyway fellas I gotta crack on, I have to do all "cutting in" today for the painting in the kitchen. :thumbdown:
Mrs H is out for "dipping" so the house is quiet at the moment, it's like a farm yard when she's around :eusa-whistle:

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
Jassy, good luck with the job hunting, and behave in that Den of yours, you dirty old git. :lol:
Rizzie, keep getting those excellent "woman gifts" and that sprog will be on its way very soon. :thumbup: :lol:

Tara my luvvies catcha later :wave:

 

[Anonymous]

Jassy - that was deep!!! I reckon that you might be right though. I guess i would rather be a Dad while I am still young but I can't help but feel that I am a little too selfish just now. That's a horrible admission to make but there's no point lying to myself. Did you enjoy Terminator Salvation in the Jass-cave? They certainly turned the franchise around after the previous effort which was simply atrocious!! Any good film recommendations for me? I quite fancy the look of the new Ridley Scott film Prometheus. That looks kinda up your street. I am a bit of an armchair critic too and films are one of my real passions so any recommendations would be awesome.

Jactac - :lol: :lol: :lol: :text-goodpost: :text-bravo: Your missus is...erm...quite a catch...literally. Did you have to lay traps or did you use a Collie to separate her from the rest of the flock?! Your technique is clearly flawless whatever it is?

As for the gift that you gave your lucky missus...we are true benevolent gentlemen. No wonder we have done so well!! :lol: :thumbup:

 

[Anonymous]

Jassy - that was deep!!! I reckon that you might be right though. I guess i would rather be a Dad while I am still young but I can't help but feel that I am a little too selfish just now. That's a horrible admission to make but there's no point lying to myself. Did you enjoy Terminator Salvation in the Jass-cave? They certainly turned the franchise around after the previous effort which was simply atrocious!! Any good film recommendations for me? I quite fancy the look of the new Ridley Scott film Prometheus. That looks kinda up your street. I am a bit of an armchair critic too and films are one of my real passions so any recommendations would be awesome.

Jactac - :lol: :lol: :lol: :text-goodpost: :text-bravo: Your missus is...erm...quite a catch...literally. Did you have to lay traps or did you use a Collie to separate her from the rest of the flock?! Your technique is clearly flawless whatever it is?

As for the gift that you gave your lucky missus...we are true benevolent gentlemen. No wonder we have done so well!! :lol: :thumbup:

In other news, i went out for a drive at the weekend on some good country roads (Donna - you'll be more than familiar with the South Deeside road). I was enjoying myself tremendously in the sunshine with some tunes blaring..good times. That was up until the point that I noticed a Black Lambo Gallardo in my rear view. Despite the fact that I was driving, shall we say, "briskly", and would like to tell you that I kept him at bay for some time that would be a barefaced lie. The second the road opened up he put his foot down and absolutely gunned it past me...the sound alone made me fear making a mess in my pants...what a car!!!!

 

[Anonymous]

yip that 5.2 v10 is a awesome sounding thing I didnt know mr scott was the director of this new film promesthius if thats the correct spelling so its back to sci-fi for ridely is it :eusa-think: should worth a view.the new and last batman film The Dark Knight Rises SHOULD BE THE FILM OF THE SUMMER in my book but i dont think it will top the dark night as its one of my top ten films.Have look at david finchers version of The Girl With Dragon Tatoo its worth a butchers also Warrior starring Tom Hardy joel edgerton and old nick nolte thats a great film in the old rocky balboa style as i know you like them eyes of the tiger :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

I cannot wait for the final instalment of the Dark Knight Trilogy. It looks amazing...that's been such an awesome reinvention of the franchise. It all went horribly downhill after Batman Returns. He is, hands down, my favourite superhero so have so enjoyed these. I have one reservation about it and that's to do with Bane who, from the teasers, is practically unintelligible. However, the chick playing Catwoman looks amazeballs!! I'm sure they'll pull it out of the bag. I've seen the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Great film and properly dark. The female lead is tremendous. I have yet to see the new version. I don't know your other recommendation so will get on that. If it bears any resemblance to the first 2 Rocky films then awesome!! Cheers Jassy!!

 

[Anonymous]

In case you haven't seen the latest trailer for 'The Dark Knight Rises ' Jassy. Glad to see that they've sorted Bane's voice out now!! Anyway, I cannot wait!!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1345836/?mode=desktop

 

[Anonymous]

Well lads I'm back from the Land Of Pasta and back home in the Land Of song.

I had a great few days in Milan, weather was lovely and went to some fantastic restaurants, those Italians are at the top of their game when it comes to cooking and engineering.
The Macchi Engineering company is simply awsome, it makes Queens Engineering in Tiawan that I went to last month look like amatures, they are just worlds apart in engineering terms.

Macchi is still privately owned and run by 87 year old Luigi Macchi, who actually lives on the site, he has built and expanded his site around his home over many years, it's a bit strange seeing this fantastic mansion with beautiful gardens sitting there surrounded by huge engineering buildings, but even they are immaculate inside and out.
Mr Macchi has a private collection of very old racing motorbikes stored in a heated cellar under his mansion, each one has some sort of racing history behind it. He raced motorbikes for years, winning some top prizes, there were old pictures and trophies from all over the world, even very old ones of the Isle Of Man races, he actually has a 1930's Norton Manx that won the TT race 3 times in a row, This would fetch phone number figures if it ever went up for sale. :crazy:
Some of his collection is priceless, and every one of them will start and can still be ridden.
We were lucky enough to have a private tour guided by the man himself, even now he still collects and restores them himself, at the age of 87 !
He allowed us to look, touch and even sit on this very very expensive collection. What a top fella :clap:

Anyway thats my bit of news, whats going down on Banter Street :eusa-think:

 

[Anonymous]

That sounds like a very memorable trip. Did you do any work, whilst enjoying yourself?

 

[Anonymous]

Well Chaps howzit hangin is their nowt happening at the mo except for IVOR JACTAC goin over to mama mia............land :lol: didnt sound too exciting jactac with your clement froidish last post :lol: I see RIZZ has go a faster boy racer avatar he's havin a long weekend with inservices days and bank holidays that coincide with each other school unions eh Ronaldo wit you been up too :eusa-think: oh thats right you got your wheel hubs done i would have just done them myself and save me blood pressure going up with incompetent dealers but anyhow I HAVE BEEN WORKING :dance: got 40 smoke alarms to wire install and test for a property letting agent and the next 2 weeks work is full as well fingers crossed i can start to build up my own wee buisness :idea:

I also got a new phone as my old contract expired its a sony experia S didnt want a I FUD :thumbdown: that sync's with the cars bluetooth automatically LAST PHONE ALWAYS ASKED :thumbdown: the new phone has 1080p recording 14 mega pixel camera so why did i buy that new camera :lol: :eusa-think: anyhow yorkies,chookters and ivors this is my.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................nineteenth hundred post :lol:

frickin forum wont do 1900th typical eh :eusa-think: :eusa-think:

 

[Anonymous]

What the FOOK IS GOING ON WITH the weather just now :crazy: up here in cumbernauld just outside glasgow its only just i mean just 7 degrees and its pissing down and its may :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

 

[Anonymous]

Well...Jactac..sounds like you have been living like a don of late! :thumbup: Glad to hear that your trip was a success. That Luigi chap sounds like a top spud. :thumbup:

Jassy - You have indeed called it. I am enjoying a cheeky bank holiday Monday. Although, sadly that's kinda it until we get a bonus day off because of the Queen's jubbly bits. I would say that I have spent it relatively constructively. Managed to get the grass cut at the back and tidy up the garden at the front. I didn't think that I was getting old until I spent a substantial portion of the weekend gardening (between freaking snow showers...wtf :eusa-think: ). However, I brought out power garden tools and that made the whole pursuit feel a little bit more manly. I also went to see The Avengers (refuse to call it 'Avengers Assemble' all because of that god awful film that Connery was involved in). They did assemble though...and it was awesome. Other than that I sadly have little to report back on. Gardening, going to the cinema during the day and not spending the weekend having any form of drinking sesh all points to me beginning to mature. I think that I must find a way of countering this...and soon or it may be deemed a mid life crisis....and I'm not even thirty!!!

Jassy - Great to hear that you have had some work!!! "Don't let the basta*ds grind you down" as my old man says and I know that you aren't the kind of man to declare defeat. Maybe, you're an Avenger?! :eusa-think:

Oh and yeah...my AVI has been "pimped" thanks to KKRCZ :thumbup:

 

[Anonymous]

Well...Jactac..sounds like you have been living like a don of late! :thumbup: Glad to hear that your trip was a success. That Luigi chap sounds like a top spud. :thumbup:

Jassy - You have indeed called it. I am enjoying a cheeky bank holiday Monday. Although, sadly that's kinda it until we get a bonus day off because of the Queen's jubbly bits. I would say that I have spent it relatively constructively. Managed to get the grass cut at the back and tidy up the garden at the front. I didn't think that I was getting old until I spent a substantial portion of the weekend gardening (between freaking snow showers...wtf :eusa-think: ). However, I brought out power garden tools and that made the whole pursuit feel a little bit more manly. I also went to see The Avengers (refuse to call it 'Avengers Assemble' all because of that god awful film that Connery was involved in). They did assemble though...and it was awesome. Other than that I sadly have little to report back on. Gardening, going to the cinema during the day and not spending the weekend having any form of drinking sesh all points to me beginning to mature. I think that I must find a way of countering this...and soon or it may be deemed a mid life crisis....and I'm not even thirty!!!

Jassy - Great to hear that you have had some work!!! "Don't let the basta*ds grind you down" as my old man says and I know that you aren't the kind of man to declare defeat. Maybe, you're an Avenger?! :eusa-think:

Oh and yeah...my AVI has been "pimped" thanks to KKRCZ :thumbup:

Aaah the joys of home ownership Rizz cutting this and that As my old last action hero mucker big arnie says "I DONT DO DAT TYPE OV WERK" :lol: AS FOR Don Corleonlishagsheep :lol: he is probably doin DIY in the Jona louey :lol: as for the avengers film i have often wondered who would win in the end as all these super heroes joined together sounds even more unbeatable and so where does the competition come from :eusa-think:

PS.Rizz your avi looks minted :lol: :thumbup:

 

[Anonymous]

I just been chatting to my good friend about doing a deal on buying the RCZ.
He offered cash no questions asked.