The Banter Thread

[Anonymous]

Jassy ,
Keep your humour coming buddy, it certainly keeps me coming back in here.
Theres nothing on earth like a straight talking Scot with a wicked sense of humour. :thumbup:
You must crack (excuse the pun) the 3 vaginas up with your banter in your household.

"3 Vaginas" :lol: :lol: Would of given the Three Degrees a run for their money anyday. :dance:

Anyway Cassidy keep it coming, and watch out for any other damn outlaws, cos you may get shot in the back m8. :lol: :lol:

The 2 younger VAGGY'S hate me most of the time :lol: they are a force to be reckoned with they are spoilt,molly cuddled,and have no respect for superior beings like me :lol: Avril has 2 sisters the eldest who i call "camila" as she thinks she is royalty and lives down in snobby INVERKIP just passed your old works jactac headquarters in greenock in a 3 floored town house looking over the MARINA AT ALL THE YACHTS :lol: The other sister has also 2 girls the same ages as avrils sprogs :lol: well you can see where this is going..........TOOO MANY FEMALES IN THE ONE FAMILY 7 females out of 9 of a family as for the men too much perfume in the testicular region perfume bawz as they say up here.


the job saga continues i have 2 chaps to meet this week one sunday Today he's a property developer and want me to do work for him on a self employed bases KERCHING i hope :eusa-think: but it depends on how much work he has and continuity the other job is p.a.y.e. maintenace electrical work and car supplied but with not a lot of kerching but he says there is always overtime :eusa-think: :eusa-think: i meet him on tuesday for a short interview so my minds already workin overtime hence am frickin up at this time on a sunday morning :crazy: this all stemed from avril puting a Personal advert up on Gumtree :wtf:

Well I think i will jump back upstairs and try and get bit of HOWZ YER FATHER OR EARLY MORNING TIFFIN With big long legs :dance: avril No doubt i will face resistance from the head honcho VAGGY :lol: :lol: BUT GOD LOVES A TRIER :lol:

How did the interview go today Jassy?! :eusa-think:

 

[Anonymous]

Well i think :eusa-think: i was well over qualified for the job and the guy knew this as well i suspect and knew i would be off in a new york minute as soon as something better turned up this is exactly what the guy in the job has done hence he needs a replacement maintenance guy.This was my 2nd interview in the past 2 weeks and they never tell you why you didnt get the job pretty demoralising as for the property developer i got a day and half of work out of him as the other flats are not ready for me to begin work on :thumbdown: I cant be arsed with the likes of these people who just tell you anything to get you on the job/interview room but i got £200 for the day and half work "buttons" and he says he will phone when the property's are ready so i feel well reemed :twisted: :twisted:

 

[Anonymous]

Well i think :eusa-think: i was well over qualified for the job and the guy knew this as well i suspect and knew i would be off in a new york minute as soon as something better turned up this is exactly what the guy in the job has done hence he needs a replacement maintenance guy.This was my 2nd interview in the past 2 weeks and they never tell you why you didnt get the job pretty demoralising as for the property developer i got a day and half of work out of him as the other flats are not ready for me to begin work on :thumbdown: I cant be arsed with the likes of these people who just tell you anything to get you on the job/interview room but i got £200 for the day and half work "buttons" and he says he will phone when the property's are ready so i feel well reemed :twisted: :twisted:

A day and a half... you're evidently very good at what you do! Here's hoping that the other properties that the developer is working on are completed quickly so that you can add to the holiday/island purchasing fund!!

It must be frustrating not to receive any feedback regarding jobs. It's just discourteous and I think employers need to realise that they have a responsibility to try and provide constructive advice. They do it in education and I can see no reason why other industries cannot!!

 

[Anonymous]

Jassy Keep your chin up m8, like you said to me when I was laid off before xmas something WILL come up. :thumbup:

I'm still looking for something else, I should of went down a completley different road rather than sticking to what I've done for 30 years, I had a couple of opportunities to try something totaly different, but to be honest I bottled it and stuck with the safer option. I'm regretting that now though. :eusa-think:

I've been off all week fitting a new kitchen for Mrs H, just got some tiling left then Mrs H can show some of her special appreciation

Fitting kitchens, bathrooms, tiling, laminating ect was one of the careers that I contemplated doing full time when I was laid off, I've done it for years as a bit of a side line when I had time off in between shifts or to help the oldman, he's a plumber who's fairly well know around Swansea, he still goes out most days to do a bit at 74 years old. Must be something in the water :lol:

Anyway lads, I gotta crack on and finish this kitchen, then its happy chappy time with Mrs H, now theres a thought, a career as a male stripper, beats shoving your hand in someones bog anyday, I can see me now on stage with my sheep doing a double act :lol: .

 

[Anonymous]

Well i think :eusa-think: i was well over qualified for the job and the guy knew this as well i suspect and knew i would be off in a new york minute as soon as something better turned up this is exactly what the guy in the job has done hence he needs a replacement maintenance guy.This was my 2nd interview in the past 2 weeks and they never tell you why you didnt get the job pretty demoralising as for the property developer i got a day and half of work out of him as the other flats are not ready for me to begin work on :thumbdown: I cant be arsed with the likes of these people who just tell you anything to get you on the job/interview room but i got £200 for the day and half work "buttons" and he says he will phone when the property's are ready so i feel well reemed :twisted: :twisted:

A day and a half... you're evidently very good at what you do! Here's hoping that the other properties that the developer is working on are completed quickly so that you can add to the holiday/island purchasing fund!!

It must be frustrating not to receive any feedback regarding jobs. It's just discourteous and I think employers need to realise that they have a responsibility to try and provide constructive advice. They do it in education and I can see no reason why other industries cannot!!

Just "A sorry you where unsuccessfull would suffice but some constructive input would even better" as you sayTopper :lol:
but i feel better today as my confidence was only dented momentarily :lol:

and Jactac A.K.A DOIN a jonah louie :lol: good fur you mucker doin the semi skimmed diy new kitchen install :thumbup: Which worktop is first to have the howz yer father blessing when finished :lol:
Well am off for a trim in edge over in sunny hamilton-place of birth just to get me oot this hoose in wet cumbernauld at the mo

Cheers banter/patter members for the moral support

 

[Anonymous]

Which worktop is first to have the howz yer father blessing when finished :lol:


Cheers banter/patter members for the moral support

Going to give the "Worktop Workout" a miss m8, it's a gloss finish, me and Mrs H would be sliding around like Torvill & Dean on speed, not a pretty sight I can assure, gotta think about building regs and health & safety :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Which worktop is first to have the howz yer father blessing when finished :lol:


Cheers banter/patter members for the moral support

Going to give the "Worktop Workout" a miss m8, it's a gloss finish, me and Mrs H would be sliding around like Torvill & Dean on speed, not a pretty sight I can assure, gotta think about building regs and health & safety :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Black gloss not good for a worktop workout :lol: but very nice as far as kitchens go but the banter king as made a comeback :thumbup:

 

[Anonymous]

Yeah I'm still here buddy, it takes a lot to keep a Swansea Jack down.

Nearly finished the kitchen, just gotta sort out the plumbing, but need to find the stop cock first, as theres a slight drip from one of the pipes. I know its down here somewhere. :eusa-think:
I also found out why our flush was a bit slow. Mrs H needs to eat more fibre :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

T.M.I.......................... :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Went for another interview today this time slightly less formal in a cafe :eusa-think: the guy was starting another buisness this time installing led lighting mainly bulb changing but it would require rewiring at times and also inspecting and testing the electrical lighting circuit and signing of electrical building certificates in commercial premises ie jeweler shops, retail shops, and even banks, clubs, and pubs, the usual which require fancy lighting these would be the targets to start with to get his buisness going he was a "joiner to trade" many moons ago it.the interview went well as this stuff is 1 of my many interest :thumbup: but then the moment came as they in the blue mooovies The MONEY SHOT :lol: he insulted me with a salary of £15,000 a year but also a bonus i concealed my disapointment then stayed on for a further ten minutes just to chat.i was speechless afterwards and pissed off again i know there is a recession but I thought slavery died along with Kunta Kinty :lol:

 

[RCZ1]

Surely, some money is better than none at all Jassy. Beggars can't be choosers in the current climate. Take the job, get a bit of security behind you and in the meantime, look around for something else that will pay better in the long run.

 

[Anonymous]

Surely, some money is better than none at all Jassy. Beggars can't be choosers in the current climate. Take the job, get a bit of security behind you and in the meantime, look around for something else that will pay better in the long run.

i am skilled and educated in my craft to the highest level possible as its always being updated and new technology arrives all the time. I get your point RCZ1 i aint lookin for mega bucks just now in this climate as ALL employers are taking the piss out of us all. But my own work ethics wont allow me to do such a job its in my DNA not do so

 

[Anonymous]

I know exactly how you feel buddy.
When i first got laid off before xmas I was asked to go for an interview at 1.30 in the morning for a driving vacancy, and to top off the insult they were offering £6.08 an hour.
I didnt exactly run there, so when they realised I was not going to attend a manager rang me and couldnt understand why I was not keen on working permanent nights, 2am until 10am, 5 nights a week including weekends for £6.08 an hour.

I would rather eat my own kidney and die with respect.
There are definatley employers out there milking the current climate and taking the piss. :evil:

 

[Anonymous]

I would rather eat my own kidney and die with respect.

:text-bravo: :clap:

 

[Anonymous]

Jassy, that sounds very insulting. Don't know how people can expect to receive skilled work and not pay for it! You decided whether or not you'll take it in the meantime? Sounds like you got on well with the guy, just a shame that he isn't up for paying a decent wage! :thumbdown: Totally agree with Jactac, some people are totally trying to exploit the recession to their advantage...pri**cks!!

Jactac, had a chuckle at your "rather eat my own kidney and die" statement. Genius! :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Jassy, that sounds very insulting. Don't know how people can expect to receive skilled work and not pay for it! You decided whether or not you'll take it in the meantime? Sounds like you got on well with the guy, just a shame that he isn't up for paying a decent wage! :thumbdown: Totally agree with Jactac, some people are totally trying to exploit the recession to their advantage...pri**cks!!

Jactac, had a chuckle at your "rather eat my own kidney and die" statement. Genius! :lol: :lol:

I have always known he was bit of a Hannibal Lecteur :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Home boozey...lukewarm chicken kebab in hand to discover Top Gun on tele. (know you'll appreciate that one Jassy!!) Tonight is officially an awesome night...win!! Whether or not I'll see the end of it is another matter...

 

[Anonymous]

Home boozey...lukewarm chicken kebab in hand to discover Top Gun on tele. (know you'll appreciate that one Jassy!!) Tonight is officially an awesome night...win!! Whether or not I'll see the end of it is another matter...

Lets hope the Hangover aint that bad this morning Rizz :lol: I was in bed sleeping from 9 pm and up at 5am :crazy: I Had 2 pints and 2 bottles of corona and thats enough to send me to bed :lol: Never have had much tolerance against the stuff but it doesnt stop me tryin :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

God I feel like a lump of turd wrapped in barbed wire!! Predictably perhaps, I awoke on the sofa next to my kebab and with no recollection of the film ending. Off to drink a reservoir and to climb in beside the missus upstairs and make like I've been there all night. What have you been doing since 5 am?! Perhaps you could live a secret double life as a crime fighting vigilante while the rest of the country slumbers...except criminals...we all know that crime never sleeps! Oh man...to bed!!!!

 

[Anonymous]

God I feel like a lump of turd wrapped in barbed wire!! Predictably perhaps, I awoke on the sofa next to my kebab and with no recollection of the film ending. Off to drink a reservoir and to climb in beside the missus upstairs and make like I've been there all night. What have you been doing since 5 am?! Perhaps you could live a secret double life as a crime fighting vigilante while the rest of the country slumbers...except criminals...we all know that crime never sleeps! Oh man...to bed!!!!

Sneeky up the stairs and into bed with a warm ass waiting on ya:lol: :thumbup: crime fighting vigilante= wealthy men with nothing better to do than blow up their own mansions in a fight and right off expensive lamborghini Murcielago's and have butlers called bawbag :lol: but i am just a skint unemployed electrician :lol:

First question this mornin from the mrs :eusa-think: " what time did you come in" :clap: