The Banter Thread

[Anonymous]

The richard Hammond of the rcz forum :lol: looks like you had a great day out :thumbup: love them 2 fire farting cars the R8 and 430 spyder but the gallardo and the murcielago roooooooooooolll mate :lol: or even better if i ever won the lottery i would walk past all ferraris and go straight for the aventador :eusa-whistle: :eusa-whistle:

Hahaha...hope the pics aren't showy off!! Jassy - the world seems to be split into 2 camps, Ferrari people and Lambo people and I have to confess that Ferrari won my heart as a child. Now...to find a wealthy benefactor to afford me my dream.

 

[Anonymous]

The richard Hammond of the rcz forum :lol: looks like you had a great day out :thumbup: love them 2 fire farting cars the R8 and 430 spyder but the gallardo and the murcielago roooooooooooolll mate :lol: or even better if i ever won the lottery i would walk past all ferraris and go straight for the aventador :eusa-whistle: :eusa-whistle:

Hahaha...hope the pics aren't showy off!! Jassy - the world seems to be split into 2 camps, Ferrari people and Lambo people and I have to confess that Ferrari won my heart as a child. Now...to find a wealthy benefactor to afford me my dream.

Showy off not :thumbup: at all ,love the r8 in white best colour for it and Rossa Corsa red for the 430 although its evil looking in black

 

[Anonymous]

Well again tonight am off to watch a film this time on Bluray in my exorbitantly priced ££££,s home cinema system in my den i call a bedroom the 3 other females are down stairs watchin Jersey Shore :lol: the film i am about to watch is close to a dear friend of mines heart on this forum its a remake of a old classic john carpenter film jactac would call it a sheep this film is called the "Thing" :lol: :lol: the plot is it takes hold of men in sheepskin lined wellys in a desolated really cold place called antarctica just like the welsh valleys the lead actors name is also called Kerry but has a 3 pronged name like most actors today the other names are "dipsit inasheep" so he also has something in common with my rabbit making mate jactac :lol: :lol: so basicly what i am saying the plot is this band of welsh men who are overtaken by this sheep/thing who at any point in time can become them once penetration has taken place :lol: then it disposes of them one by one but "kerry dipsit inasheep " realises this so with his big wellys on he decides to reep revenge on the thing on behalf of his deceased welly wearing mate as like all new remakes they do try to change the ending from the original so on that note i am off to watch the film i will inform any intersted party's as to the conclusion of this new ending and if Kerry dipsit inasheep survive's for a harder blood pumpin sequel :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Absolute top draw Nutter :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :clap: :clap:

 

[Anonymous]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Absolute top draw Nutter :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :clap: :clap:

I definetly need to stay off the sherbet on school nights :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :beer:

 

[Anonymous]

1700............................... :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Well anyway am off to watch Rony Zucko and Sandra "rcz1"a Dee IN THE "RCZ High School FILM musical "DE-GREASE" IS THE WORD........" Look at me am rcz1 a BEE MY RCZ is lousey With road grimey a bee wont go to bed till my rcz is totally shed of dirt a bee............ THATS WHY THEY CALL ME THE RCZ1 A BEE :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ron you need to stop them "Chills Multiplyin"and keep in control :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

lol I like that One of your better ones.

What..... I couldn't understand a single word of that diatribe

Ronaldo you may call it "diatribe" :thumbdown: but to everyone else its just a bit of "humour" or "banter" or maybe we should rename this thread the "Diatribe Thread" :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Jassy ,
Keep your humour coming buddy, it certainly keeps me coming back in here.
Theres nothing on earth like a straight talking Scot with a wicked sense of humour. :thumbup:
You must crack (excuse the pun) the 3 vaginas up with your banter in your household.

"3 Vaginas" :lol: :lol: Would of given the Three Degrees a run for their money anyday. :dance:

Anyway Cassidy keep it coming, and watch out for any other damn outlaws, cos you may get shot in the back m8. :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

So...I believe myself to be a very laid back kinda chap but I came extraordinarily close to forgetting my passive nature today in a car park. I was pulling into a car park when some late middle aged bloke in a golf jumper is getting out of his BMW 3 series close to the entrance. I clock him and am already slowing on entering.. but I am not signaling any intent to stop. He looks at me coming in, hesitates and then proceeds to continue to walk right in front of my car despite the fact that I am not stopped I break to a stop and we look eyeball to eyeball...I start to shake my head at him in disbelief. As i go to get out of my car I see him lingering. Now...I will go some way to avoid a confrontation but this numpty was clearly heckling for a fight. His grasp of the English language didn't extend to much beyond expletives.

He begins, "Aye fit the f*ck are you shaking you head at me for?

Given the nature of my job, I am fairly unfazed by bad language and I calmly and rationally explain to him that I was shaking my head at him for walking right in front of me.

He gets on the defensive unloading a torrent of abuse including, "f*ck you...it could have been a f*cking kid you wan*er..."

Again, I explain to him that a child probably would have looked up before walking across a busy car park and on seeing a vehicle would likely have stopped rather than walked clean in front of a moving vehicle"

He continues, "well you should have been coming in slower you stupid f*cking d*ck"

At this point, as he is in my face I calmly tell him that as I was pulling in at a speed of around 5 mph I was in fact coming in pretty damn slowly as it was so he should wise up and get out of my face

He pulls out his "trump" card as he pushes my chest desite the fact that I am 6ft1 he appears to be bolstered by his need to try and show off for his troll faced wife standing a little way away, "just because you drive a fancy f*cking car dis nae mean that you are on-y fu*cking body ya pri*k, go f*ck yourself"

We have now gathered quite a crowd of onlookers and i can feel my anger seething! :x I retort, "and just because you have a BMW and are a w*nker with a small penis doesnt mean that you have to make up for it by being a human sized c*ck but, as you are a giant d*ck, why don't you go and f*ck yourself"

He, embarrassed, now starts to move away uttering expletives under his breath.

So...was I wrong?! Should I have bit my tongue?! What would you have done/said? Are some things best ignored?!

 

[Anonymous]

We have now gathered quite a crowd of onlookers and i can feel my anger seething! :x I retort, "and just because you have a BMW and are a w*nker with a small penis doesnt mean that you have to make up for it by being a human sized c*ck but, as you are a giant d*ck, why don't you go and f*ck yourself"

He, embarrassed, now starts to move away uttering expletives under his breath.

So...was I wrong?! Should I have bit my tongue?! What would you have done/said? Are some things best ignored?!

Rizzle my good man I've said many times there are occasions where things need to be tackled head on, sometimes diplomacy just does not work :roll:
It only takes a few seconds in some situations to realise when things are going to go t*ts up and you need to change your stance and be counted , and in this case you had to do just that, well done m8.
May I be the first to welcome you to the "Jac N Jass" club . :thumbup:

 

[Anonymous]

Well we have an appointment with the new Porsche Boxster. We shall get a preview of this fine (expected) motor car in Leeds on the 24th April :thumbup: May be her indoors will be getting a new set of wheels

 

[Anonymous]

So...I believe myself to be a very laid back kinda chap but I came extraordinarily close to forgetting my passive nature today in a car park. I was pulling into a car park when some late middle aged bloke in a golf jumper is getting out of his BMW 3 series close to the entrance. I clock him and am already slowing on entering.. but I am not signaling any intent to stop. He looks at me coming in, hesitates and then proceeds to continue to walk right in front of my car despite the fact that I am not stopped I break to a stop and we look eyeball to eyeball...I start to shake my head at him in disbelief. As i go to get out of my car I see him lingering. Now...I will go some way to avoid a confrontation but this numpty was clearly heckling for a fight. His grasp of the English language didn't extend to much beyond expletives.

He begins, "Aye fit the f*ck are you shaking you head at me for?

Given the nature of my job, I am fairly unfazed by bad language and I calmly and rationally explain to him that I was shaking my head at him for walking right in front of me.

He gets on the defensive unloading a torrent of abuse including, "f*ck you...it could have been a f*cking kid you wan*er..."

Again, I explain to him that a child probably would have looked up before walking across a busy car park and on seeing a vehicle would likely have stopped rather than walked clean in front of a moving vehicle"

He continues, "well you should have been coming in slower you stupid f*cking d*ck"

At this point, as he is in my face I calmly tell him that as I was pulling in at a speed of around 5 mph I was in fact coming in pretty damn slowly as it was so he should wise up and get out of my face

He pulls out his "trump" card as he pushes my chest desite the fact that I am 6ft1 he appears to be bolstered by his need to try and show off for his troll faced wife standing a little way away, "just because you drive a fancy f*cking car dis nae mean that you are on-y fu*cking body ya pri*k, go f*ck yourself"

We have now gathered quite a crowd of onlookers and i can feel my anger seething! :x I retort, "and just because you have a BMW and are a w*nker with a small penis doesnt mean that you have to make up for it by being a human sized c*ck but, as you are a giant d*ck, why don't you go and f*ck yourself"

He, embarrassed, now starts to move away uttering expletives under his breath.

So...was I wrong?! Should I have bit my tongue?! What would you have done/said? Are some things best ignored?!

My god what an experience you have had Rizz Mate i would have lost it after the chest pushin and its only your fine gentlemanly behaviour thats pulled you through this as otherwise the shit would have hit the fan as these things can escalate easily out control so honestly its him who will feel like more of a mechant banker after the event.

Noticed you got the 1" in on your height where normally A SIX FOOTER WOULD HAVE SUFFICED :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Well we have an appointment with the new Porsche Boxster. We shall get a preview of this fine (expected) motor car in Leeds on the 24th April :thumbup: May be her indoors will be getting a new set of wheels

Well ron i cant see them havin a diatribe thread on the Boxter forum as these cars are mainly owned by dentists,draughtsman and most of all 3rd division footballers WAGS :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Jassy ,
Keep your humour coming buddy, it certainly keeps me coming back in here.
Theres nothing on earth like a straight talking Scot with a wicked sense of humour. :thumbup:
You must crack (excuse the pun) the 3 vaginas up with your banter in your household.

"3 Vaginas" :lol: :lol: Would of given the Three Degrees a run for their money anyday. :dance:

Anyway Cassidy keep it coming, and watch out for any other damn outlaws, cos you may get shot in the back m8. :lol: :lol:

The 2 younger VAGGY'S hate me most of the time :lol: they are a force to be reckoned with they are spoilt,molly cuddled,and have no respect for superior beings like me :lol: Avril has 2 sisters the eldest who i call "camila" as she thinks she is royalty and lives down in snobby INVERKIP just passed your old works jactac headquarters in greenock in a 3 floored town house looking over the MARINA AT ALL THE YACHTS :lol: The other sister has also 2 girls the same ages as avrils sprogs :lol: well you can see where this is going..........TOOO MANY FEMALES IN THE ONE FAMILY 7 females out of 9 of a family as for the men too much perfume in the testicular region perfume bawz as they say up here.

the job saga continues i have 2 chaps to meet this week one sunday Today he's a property developer and want me to do work for him on a self employed bases KERCHING i hope :eusa-think: but it depends on how much work he has and continuity the other job is p.a.y.e. maintenace electrical work and car supplied but with not a lot of kerching but he says there is always overtime :eusa-think: :eusa-think: i meet him on tuesday for a short interview so my minds already workin overtime hence am frickin up at this time on a sunday morning :crazy: this all stemed from avril puting a Personal advert up on Gumtree :wtf:

Well I think i will jump back upstairs and try and get bit of HOWZ YER FATHER OR EARLY MORNING TIFFIN With big long legs :dance: avril No doubt i will face resistance from the head honcho VAGGY :lol: :lol: BUT GOD LOVES A TRIER :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Sod the job and interviews mate, that can wait. GET BACK UP THOSE STAIRS AND DO SCOTLAND PROUD :thumbup: :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Sod the job and interviews mate, that can wait. GET BACK UP THOSE STAIRS AND DO SCOTLAND PROUD :thumbup: :lol: :lol:

Well i got the proverbial Spanish Archer :lol:
Damn She's a CRABBIT bugger this morning......................But the seagulls will follow the trawler

 

[Anonymous]

Well had a meet with the property developer he has a block or 2 of flats to wire and fit and commision plus other future work "A BIT LIKE HOMES UNDER THE HAMMER" :lol: bread and butter stuff with a time line of say 6-7 weeks a great earner and wants me to do all future work but i have got to think further on than that especially with another offer on tuesday :helpme: one of my sons is a spark he is only 24 and lacks confidense in himself to do domestic work as he has only done industrial electrical work so i am going to keep the 2 jobs on the go and guide him on the refurb and take the other job if its offered to me its all feast or famine just now but i need to get my sharm el sheik fix :lol: would go to barbados but it takes tooooooooooooooo long to fly there and i hate flying but at least things are looking up for jassy bhoyo :lol: for a change what was that car i fancied oh :eusa-think: i forgot a transit van :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

:thumbup: Jassy and Jactac - thanks for the moral support. I just freaking hate folk that lord about and think that they can bully other people. I think there was a distinct degree of insecurity demonstrated in his little performance and I have to say that if I was of a similar tempremant to him then there would have been more of a dust up. Some people are clearly just very angry individuals...still he's on his way to an early grave through certain high blood pressure so I guess I'll have the last laugh without even having had to lift a finger. He was a proper pen15 though!! :x

Jassy - That's great news to hear that there is some work in the offing!!! :clap: I truly hope that these work out for you and I am sure that a man of your calibre will land on your feet...my fingers are crossed for you. I guess it would be nice to have more security and have some type of permanent contract but it seems that this is increasingly rare. However, you sound like you have your foot in the door and hopefully even greater things will fall your way....then maybe you can buy yourself a nice island somewhere closer that doesn't involve a lengthy flight!!! Good luck to you!! :thumbup:

 

[Anonymous]

:thumbup: Jassy and Jactac - thanks for the moral support. I just freaking hate folk that lord about and think that they can bully other people. I think there was a distinct degree of insecurity demonstrated in his little performance and I have to say that if I was of a similar tempremant to him then there would have been more of a dust up. Some people are clearly just very angry individuals...still he's on his way to an early grave through certain high blood pressure so I guess I'll have the last laugh without even having had to lift a finger. He was a proper pen15 though!! :x

Jassy - That's great news to hear that there is some work in the offing!!! :clap: I truly hope that these work out for you and I am sure that a man of your calibre will land on your feet...my fingers are crossed for you. I guess it would be nice to have more security and have some type of permanent contract but it seems that this is increasingly rare. However, you sound like you have your foot in the door and hopefully even greater things will fall your way....then maybe you can buy yourself a nice island somewhere closer that doesn't involve a lengthy flight!!! Good luck to you!! :thumbup:

Your a gent :thumbup: and truly worthy of a membership to the JACTAC-RIZZO-JAZZ CLUB :lol: :lol: get it :eusa-think: JAZZ CLUB :crazy: I DO TRY SOMETIMES TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HARD AT TIMES though :lol: :lol: and the ex communicated for the moment :lol: Mr Roncky Balboa the New Boxster Lurva :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

i will say my fair wells to the banters bhoyos and boyz :lol: as i bid all my muckers/fans :lol: jist kiddin a bonny fair well until "tomoz" "fudbook lingidy" and also to you SIR Elvis Ron as without you there would be no would be Boxster buyer on this forum :lol: and RON if you want to know about light bulb upgrades just ask the man that is the jedi knight of all the light saber bulbs upgrades and not the wannabe jedi.com man :thumbdown:

Am workin in the morning so need ma sleep :lol: Live Long and prosper Banter trekkies :lol: :lol: :lol: Edit again :lol: " mork callin orsen come in orsen" "nanu nanu" I need to get a life nae body here :lol: