A
Anonymous
Guest
As the Title says really:
My Neighbour knocked on my door at 0230 Hours this morning - can you believe that 0230 hours ?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes :thumbdown:
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.
I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...
......but she did :?
The Grim Reaper came for me last night and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death :clap:
(Oh come on, that was a good one).
Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary :lol:
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg" :helpme:
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse :shock:
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker.
Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet
What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One’s a superhero and the other is an instruction
An old lady is being examined by the Doctor.
He asks "Have you ever been bedridden?"
She says "Yes I have - and I've been table ended and backscuttled a few times to" :crazy:
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse!
Do you think I should change dentists? :thumbup:
A wife says to her husband "You’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back."
He says "What do you expect?
You are in a wheel chair." :|
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you get reincarnated, you must come back as a different creature.
She said i would like to come back as a cow.
I said you're obviously not listening :thumbdown:
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back
Hi mate i don't want you to panic but I’m texting you from Casualty.
Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what i thought it was :!: :?:
That's All Folks
:greetings-wavingblue:
My Neighbour knocked on my door at 0230 Hours this morning - can you believe that 0230 hours ?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes :thumbdown:
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.
I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...
......but she did :?
The Grim Reaper came for me last night and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death :clap:
(Oh come on, that was a good one).
Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary :lol:
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg" :helpme:
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse :shock:
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker.
Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet
What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One’s a superhero and the other is an instruction
An old lady is being examined by the Doctor.
He asks "Have you ever been bedridden?"
She says "Yes I have - and I've been table ended and backscuttled a few times to" :crazy:
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse!
Do you think I should change dentists? :thumbup:
A wife says to her husband "You’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back."
He says "What do you expect?
You are in a wheel chair." :|
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you get reincarnated, you must come back as a different creature.
She said i would like to come back as a cow.
I said you're obviously not listening :thumbdown:
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back
Hi mate i don't want you to panic but I’m texting you from Casualty.
Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what i thought it was :!: :?:
That's All Folks
:greetings-wavingblue:
