A
Anonymous
Guest
Thought I'd cheer myself up, and anyone else finding the waiting unbearable, enjoy 
Gerrard, Rooney and Carragher have brought their kids vuvuzelas back from Africa.The kids are said to be over the moon as they can now syphon petrol much quicker than the other scouse kids.
Little boy arrives home to find his mum and dad having sex on the sofa. Dad says " Don't worry son,I'm just filling mummy with petrol!" Son replies "She doesn't do many miles to the gallon ,does she dad? Uncle Dave only filled her up this morning"
I grew up in a tough area. When I was a kid the other kids used to cover me in chocolate and cream then stick a friggin cherry on my head... Yes ...life was tough in the gateau !
Alex Higgins was buried in a peaceful corner of a cemetery. In the plot to his left is a Chinese bloke,to his right a Jamaican and in front of him a Pakistani.Friends and relatives are complaining he'll be completely snookered behind the yellow,brown and black.
The Football Association today proudly unveiled Total, fcuk and UPS as the new sponsors of the England football team. ‘The combination of these three corporate giants perfectly captures the ethos of the England side,’ said an FA spokesman. ‘After all, they had nothing in the tank when it counted, and they’ve proved themselves to be a bunch of expensive posers who always fail to deliver.’
The new shirts come in a range of bright ‘easy to spot’ colours after claims from England players that the old kit was painted in ‘magic invisible ink’ which made it impossible to pick out an easy and obvious pass to a team mate. The new shirts are also made of a super lightweight material, unlike the old tops which were apparently made of extra-heavy chain mail which left the Premiership stars lumbering around looking exhausted and unfit.
However, one criticism has been made of the design of the new England kit with claims that the neck hole was inexplicably too small for the heads of the Premiership stars. Players say this will make it very hard to pull the shirt off during an over-exuberant goal celebration, but a spokesman for the manufacturers said ’we don’t envisage this being a problem.’
Gerrard, Rooney and Carragher have brought their kids vuvuzelas back from Africa.The kids are said to be over the moon as they can now syphon petrol much quicker than the other scouse kids.
Little boy arrives home to find his mum and dad having sex on the sofa. Dad says " Don't worry son,I'm just filling mummy with petrol!" Son replies "She doesn't do many miles to the gallon ,does she dad? Uncle Dave only filled her up this morning"
I grew up in a tough area. When I was a kid the other kids used to cover me in chocolate and cream then stick a friggin cherry on my head... Yes ...life was tough in the gateau !
Alex Higgins was buried in a peaceful corner of a cemetery. In the plot to his left is a Chinese bloke,to his right a Jamaican and in front of him a Pakistani.Friends and relatives are complaining he'll be completely snookered behind the yellow,brown and black.
The Football Association today proudly unveiled Total, fcuk and UPS as the new sponsors of the England football team. ‘The combination of these three corporate giants perfectly captures the ethos of the England side,’ said an FA spokesman. ‘After all, they had nothing in the tank when it counted, and they’ve proved themselves to be a bunch of expensive posers who always fail to deliver.’
The new shirts come in a range of bright ‘easy to spot’ colours after claims from England players that the old kit was painted in ‘magic invisible ink’ which made it impossible to pick out an easy and obvious pass to a team mate. The new shirts are also made of a super lightweight material, unlike the old tops which were apparently made of extra-heavy chain mail which left the Premiership stars lumbering around looking exhausted and unfit.
However, one criticism has been made of the design of the new England kit with claims that the neck hole was inexplicably too small for the heads of the Premiership stars. Players say this will make it very hard to pull the shirt off during an over-exuberant goal celebration, but a spokesman for the manufacturers said ’we don’t envisage this being a problem.’