Central Locking Nightmare!!

[2retro]

Well today has been interesting to say the least!

Came outside and went to get in the car and the keyfob wouldn't unlock the doors. It wouldn't do anything at all in fact so I assumed dead battery in the fob. So went back inside and grabbed the spare fob... same issue. So now I'm thinking, dead car battery? I mean it was replaced with a super powered brand new one with a 5 year warranty less than 6 months ago but what else could it be?

So, I used the key to open the driver's door and get inside the car. Sure enough, everything is dead. No power to the ignition, no power at all. So what I need to do is check the battery in the engine bay... but, because the car is French, of course the bonnet release is on the passenger side (drivers side in France Grrrrrrrrrr!) the passenger side door is still locked and the interior handle doesn't unlock it because it's deadlocked!!

I know, I think, I'll plug my 'Start & Charge' portable battery to the 12 volt socket in the centre console to give it enough power to at least allow me to open the passenger side door and access the bonnet release. An hour later, nothing has happened (I know the key needs to be turned to the on position for the socket to be live).

So by this point I'm running out of ideas. Half remembered something in the Owners Manual about being able to unlock the passenger door manually so digs that out (see image below) but can only assume it's some sort of french attempt at humour because I can assure you it does bugger all!!!

So, I'm out of ideas now... how can I access the engine bay? Or open the passenger side door? Or do anything at all???

Answers on a postcard...

 

[2retro]

Update: Finally got enough power into it to light up the ignition in position one and open the passenger door to access the bonnet release. New heavy-duty battery with 5 year guarantee is completely dead. As in, not a single volt in it - never seen one as dead as this before! I'll try and charge it overnight and take another look tomorrow. Either it's that or the car is possessed...!

 

[Pedro]

Many niggles could cause it like a serious grounding fault Alternator issues but don't rule out the Battery control module
Problems with batteries occur when they go completely flat thus damaged cells occur by jump starting etc
Modern cars can lose about 10% of battery power per month through self discharge but the car needs power 24/7 to energise the ECU BSI central locking & Alarm system etc

 

[2retro]

Check it again today after 24 hours of charge and the car fired up in milliseconds! Loads of errors - ABS, ESP, Braking System Fault, Engine Fault, Clock & Stereo reset to zero, windows only going up and down in increments instead of one shot... But gave it 5 minutes to compose itself while I set the right time again and most of the errors fixed themselves. Took it for a quick spin and the rest went away again too. So everything is now back to normal now so happy days! Battery and alternator checked and both tip top so just need to keep an eye on it to see if there is something draining the battery excessively now. May well have just been the alarm, etc. as had been stood for a couple of weeks...